hang on little tomato

irreplaceable by beyonce

2007-05-25T05:29:00.000+08:00

i am currently addicted to this song! i think it just makes me feel really good because of the memories it evokes -- john would keep on playing this song and daryl would sing the spanish version :-P awww..i miss class and my classmates!! oh, and the "to the left" part reminds me of real deal..miss ko na rin yun! :-D

to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
everything you own in the box to the left
in the closet, that's my stuff
yes, if i bought it, please don't touch

and keep talking that mess, that's fine
could you walk and talk at the same time?
and it's my name that's on that bag
so go move your bags, let me call you a cab

standing in the front yard, telling me
how i'm such a fool, talking 'bout
how i'll never ever find a man like you
you got me twisted

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i could have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable

so go ahead and get gone
call up that chick and see if she's home
oops i bet you thought that i didn't know
what did you think i was putting you out for?

because you was untrue
rolling her around in the car that i bought you
naby, drop them keys
hurry up, before your taxi leaves

standing in the front yard, telling me
how I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
how I'll never ever find a man like you
you got me twisted

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i could have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable

so since i'm not your everything
how about i'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
baby i won't shed a tear for you
i won't lose a wink of sleep
'cause the truth of the matter is
replacing you is so easy

to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
everything you own in the box to the left

to the left, to the left
don't you ever for a second get to thinking
you're irreplaceable

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'

you must not know 'bout me (baby)
you must not know 'bout me
i could have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute
you can pack all your bags we're finished
'cause you made your bed now lay in it
i could have another you by tomorrow
don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable

2007-05-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

i'm scared :-( i feel so lost..it's so weird. there was a time when i was so excited about the uncertainty. but now, i am just so nervous..potentially paralyzed even. or maybe numb. like a robot just reacting to what's thrown at him or what he's faced with.

sometimes, i don't really know who i am anymore. have i lost the real me? or is the me right now the real me?

a friend is arranging something for mid-june. it somewhat scares me..and i think partly because it's something that could be good.. :-(

2007-05-11T01:36:00.000+08:00

oh no..i may be getting in too deep. you have to start holding your horsies, baby..yes, not worth it!

counting down the days

2007-05-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

i cannot believe it's may already!! it means it's been five months since the start of 2007. and it will be about two weeks until..you know what..

yikes..

i had this conversation with cjsn a while ago. i explained to him that the reason for this bewilderment is because i didn't realize five months had already passed me by! this poses the possibility of five more months passing me by without me feeling it too. probably because there wasn't any milestone achieved since the start of the year.

argh..birthday blues creeping in..

i thought i was over that already. the whole, oh-i-dread-my-birthday feeling. i must admit during my early twenties, i'd feel this every time i'd turn a year older. quarter-life crisis. but by the time i turned twenty-five (okay, that's a dead give-away that i'm at least twenty-five years old!), i gave up caring and worrying that i'm getting older and just resigned to the fact that each day, each minute and each second that passes by in my life is a day, a minute and a second of me getting older.

then a few days ago..this whole birthday thing got me thinking again about my life..some mild form of quarter-life crisis but now with a sense of hopefulness instead of helplessness. of excitement over what can possibly happen. because right now, there is that feeling of uncertainty. well yes, i guess everyone feels that. maybe i'm just comparing my life now to how it was, say, five years ago. at that time, i knew what was going to happen. well, pretty much. i thought i'd be married by twenty-four or twenty-five. then have kids before thirty. but with how things are right now, i don't even think i'd be married by thirty! hahaha.

oh, how i wish i could be more eloquent about this..

i am actually trying my very best not to pressure myself too much about this and accept that yes, it may really be just the influence of society that's why women think they should be married before they turn thirty. well, there's also that whole issue with the biological clock ticking. but then, why pressure and end up settling just because of that when you know you haven't found THE one yet right?

haha..my age is really showing because of what i'm writing about!! kadiri! birthday blues talaga.

but i really really am sincerely happy. i'm happy owning the chance of being able to do anything and everything that i want. it's a kind of freedom that allows me to grow and achieve the full potential of my being. and i am truly excited for that. i am truly excited for what i can and will be five years from now. for sure, it is something i didn't expect i would be.

2007-04-24T04:00:00.000+08:00

life is good :-) will update my blog soon. i've just been soooo busy but i know i will have time tomorrow. hihihi.

tearing at my heart, tugging at my soul

2007-04-16T21:24:00.000+08:00

a friend wrote this..a really nice read, very heartfelt and sincere..sapul! hehe. just felt it had to be out there..

i wonder what you’re doing right now. i wonder if you feel the same anxiety i feel whenever you come to mind. i know you don’t, and that tears me apart. a huge part of me wishes, or rather, tries to think that "maybe" you also feel the same way. feel the same "pangs" of loss, that same emptiness, and sigh the same sighs that seem to be followed every single time with a brief exclamation of "..sayang..". then again it’s all wishful thinking, on my part, at least. as usual.

mom sent me something today, lately the "quotes" she’s been sending have hit quite close to home. home being my dilemma. you. us, well what used to be us. she sent something that went like this:

"always make your absence felt. in such a way that somebody misses you, but let not your absence be so long that somebody starts learning to live without you..."

that made me think of me. you. us, the old us and who we are now to each other.

i try to analyze what i am, who i am right now in your life. you’re someone important in mine, too important that oftentimes i find myself forgetting myself for you. ah, but i love you, that’s why. i could always conjure all the speeches possible, to swoon you over, to sweep you off your feet, to convince myself to just keep on tearing at the world just for this love of mine for you to stay. remain. but i could never tell myself to not love you, to just stop, to just hate you continuously and eventually get sick of you. i just couldn’t muster the words, or "conjure" the speech that would make me...forget this feeling tearing me up inside. then again, that was never one of my talents. or i never really learned how to do that.

i try to think about you, and what you’re doing. doing to me. doing to us. they say that oftentimes pain is self inflicted lest it be physical pain. in this case, the continuing consistent pain i feel when i remember what happened a couple of months ago. a part of me badgers myself for insisting that you’re still doing something to hurt me, that somehow, this pain i feel is largely because of what you did. well, yeah, if you look at it straightly, it is because of you and what you decided to do. a part of me also concedes to the fact that you just had to do it, or you just had to go, just because you wanted to..for whatever reasons you had. it just happened, and it’s been a couple of months since i last had a real conversation with you. in 4 months or so, it would mark a whole year of not being with you. not hearing i love you from you. funny, i never got tired of those words no matter how many times you said them to me, now i miss them so.

i try to imagine myself in your feet. trying to think and feel what you feel, but then again it’s all an exercise in futility as i’m not you. i wasn’t the one who went away. i wasn’t the one who broke up with me.

then i realize. maybe you want your absence felt, and my presence gone in your life. maybe you’d want this to be soo long, even extend it up until you can..just because you’ve learned to live without me.

i guess. Like my inability to forget, unlove and just let go of my feelings for you, i won’t learn to be happy and content to live without you anytime soon.

2007-04-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

hi just thot of saying hi & hellow! how r u na? hope alls well with u! even if ur not with {insert name here} ul alwaz stil b my friend ha! i mis cein u {toot toot}. Tc. Dnt be a stranger k!

-- from someone whom i hardly talked to but actually cared..so sweet! it made my day :-)

popular by nada surf

2007-03-30T03:18:00.000+08:00

i've been listening to my nada surf songs. i like their version of "if you leave." this is the first ever song i heard by them back in high school. it's a nice angsty one. actually makes sense. hehehe.

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time
And haven't been too serious
There's still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company
But if you're honest, and direct and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news
The boy will respect you for your frankness
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straight foward manner in which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends

I'm head of the class, I'm popular
I'm a quarter back, I'm popular
My mom says I'm a catch, I'm popular
I'm never last picked, I got a cheerleader chick

Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Jonny football hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you like his article in the newspaper

I'm the party star, I'm popular
I've got my own car, I'm popular
I'll never get caught, I'm popular
I make football bets, I'm a teacher's pet.

I propose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It will keep you both more able to deal with weird situations and get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Jonny, now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He won't mind. He'll apreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again
I'm sure he'll l did
Everyone will appreciate it
You're so novel what a good idea
You can keep your time to yourself
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy, in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan..THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO POPULARITY

surreal bliss

2007-03-10T04:07:00.000+08:00

read this somewhere and just found it cute...*sigh*...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

boy: probably ask (name of friend) na lang...she noticed how much ive changed since den bcz of u...

girl: how? i don't want to ask (name of friend)

boy: ok den dnt

girl: so i'm asking you

boy: nilalamon ko na pride ko...

boy: able to wait for u...be sweet sayo...

boy: actually care so much for someone...

boy: introduce u to some of my family members...

girl: hindi ka ba ganun before?

boy: hehehe no...

girl: why not?

boy: probably bcz love talga kita...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

btw, this day last year was girls-night-out at eastwood and jj's after..can't believe it's been a year!

2007-03-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

i want i want i want!!!

i would just like to take note that around this time last year, i also asked for something through my blog..and i got it! will it happen again this year? hahaha..wish ko lang :-P

that red-letter day, 2007

2007-02-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

this year, it was normal but different (huwat?). carlo and i had dinner at cibo (my favorite! but he was the one who suggested it..hihi) and had my usual valentino pasta and iced tea combo. then we watched..not one..but two movies! haha. music and lyrics + ghost rider = one sore butt! hehehe. jaz keeding. but really, by the time we were watching the second movie, i couldn't concentrate anymore because i was so sleepy! i slept at 4am the night before because i tried finishing my watercoloring homework..when i actually didn't have my prang!!! just when i was so determined to go to class with complete homework. arggghh. good thing, i was late enough to skip homeworking checking! actually, i think john didn't check homework for that day, yahu! and i think everyone was just all gooey and goofy that day. we just had to go get all photo-op-ish..i don't know why :-P it must be love you say? hahaha. i'm not making any sense.

i made this for our activity that day. john said it was cute! :-) *blush* the lines are just coming out of nowhere so he fixed it. the hands are still uglee! and one arm is lighter than the other! hahaha. and still looks a bit barbaric donchatink?

btw joe lei, one of my classmates, is selling really cute bikinis and tankinis -- http://joelei.multiply.com/photos/album/3. here's a pic of one of the bikinis i bought from her.

do check them out! :-)

2007-02-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

lookie what someone bought the other day...

INGGIT AKO!!!! WUHUHU!!!!

one day, it will be mine. oh yes, it will be mine. mwahahahahah (maniacal laugh)..so pretty..nuninuninu..(wala, nasiraan na ng bait! hahah). but seriously, i'm so jealous! to think i was being discouraged by the person who bought this from buying a macbook! then he ended up being a convert! hahaha. it's really really nice. we roadtested it and grabe, i just fell in love with it all over again! if you really are into music and designing and all that artsy fartsy stuff, then mac is for you! graphics are really nice. itunes is simply the best (don't know why i never got used to winamp). i also love iSight :-) how your stuff is presented to you is really different too..it's more interesting and it entices you to use your computer. i can't put everything to words! you really have to experience it to believe it :-) you aren't just paying for something that functions as a computer but it's like you are paying for a certain lifestyle. and for all you cam whores out there, you have got to love photobooth! hahaha. yeah, this is goal #4. i will achieve goal #4..soon.. :-)

twenty-oh-seven

2007-02-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

okay, so this is about a month delayed -- the reason which i've already explained in one of my previous posts. but in honor of the year turning new, here is my list of things to do or my goals for the new year (and believe me, i am sure pretty optimistic about it!). i do hope that by the time this year ends, i get to do everything on this list..and even more :-)

1) travel
- i think this will always be part of my new year's list of things to do...coz i'm a WANDERLUSTER!!! hahaha. i just see this finally come into fruition more now that i have someone to constantly travel with :-) i also foresee myself having more time this year (hmm, how can that be possible? hahaha). we will most probably try land travel first so that we could roadtest carlo's dear elcy! i don't mind since I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ROADTRIPS :-) i think we should start with local tourism first to gain firsthand experience on what our country has to offer. and anyway i don't really have money yet to travel outside of the philippines. basta, aabot din akong europe pero hindi pa ngayon.

2) learn more about photography
- i assisted carlo earlier today for a shoot and a realization dawned on me -- that photography is something i would like to be good at and something i would like to earn money from at the same time. even if all i did this morning was be carlo's errand girl, there was this fun element from the experience: the whole process of coming up with an idea and capturing that idea into still image, the whole creativity involved, is simply satisfying. kaya naman ngayon napapaisip na akong bumili ng dSLR. and of course, i would need a laptop. i do need a laptop. like a macbook perhaps. sige patch, i-justify mo pa. hahaha. hay, low on funds. both are pretty hard on the bank account, which isn't really pretty fluid these days. so although it is very probable i won't really be able to get my dSLR nor my macbook, i will still try to practice and learn. at least carlo's camera is there for my usage, hehe :-)

3) finally learn how to speak nihongo
- my tita is going to kill me! i asked her to buy me a nihongo book as pasalubong when they came here to visit feb of last year..but i haven't gone past lesson 1! and they are coming to visit again this year! for sure she's going to ask me how the lessons are going..i don't have the heart to tell her that i haven't progressed! so i have, i have, I HAVE to move on to the advanced level at most by the end of the year.

4) buy me meh gadgets!
- macbook! dSLR! lomo LCA +! i've always wanted these. doubt i'd be able to get any this year but i'll just put them on the list anyway. let me push myself to the limits! :-)

5) live independently
- again, talk about pushing myself to the limits. i remember telling myself before that by the age of twenty-six, i should be living independently already. it didn't push through coz i chickened out! bokbokbokok! hahaha. i made excuses. i told myself that i should save money first. i also thought that i have all the time in the world to live separately from my parents when i get married. but at the start of this year, i realized that now is the time to try living on my own. first, i find where we live at too small for all of us. second, it is far from work and friends and..hehehe :-) third, i really need a my own personal space -- a place where i can set-up my craft and work on it and not be bothered by anyone. the third reason is tied to my other goals. if i don't satisfy the third reason, it may be hard to accomplish my other goals (wekwek, justifying again!). question is, can i really move out already? am i financially capable? is my family ready to let me go? well, we'll see. after all, i am three years shy from turning thirty, for crying out loud!

6) study. study. study.
- i don't know why but there is just this craving to keep on learning and to absorb everything out there that interests me. here are just some of the things i do hope to be knowledgeable/good/better at by the end of the year: photography, dressmaking, operations research, accounting, speaking and writing in japanese, anything and everything about designing, investing.

7) learn how to cook/bake
- i know nothing about the kitchen and i made a promise that before i get married or, at most, before i have kids, i should know how to cook already so that when my kids talk to their playmates, they wouldn't be embarrassed to say that their mom doesn't know how to cook. hehehe. and so that i can bake my kids cookies! myself too! :-)

8) open the circle!
- i've met a lot of people in the past year and i must say it's been great. i've always had a closed world and just keep several friends close because i'm pretty shy! pramis! most of all to girls..i don't know why. i have a hard time bonding with girls that's why i have a lot of guy friends. i guess it's partly because i can't find girls who have the same interests as i do, except for the whole fashion thang. most girls love to dress up. i guess it's also partly because of that characteristic of girls to overanalyze and nitpick people's personalities. in other words, girls love to bash other people, most of all other girls (hence, mean girls). this why i get shy and scared when around girls, most of all new acquaintances. i just somehow can't get myself to connect! or maybe, due to the growing years spent with the a-boys, all social skills towards the female specie was never really developed! hahaha. joke lang, i miss those guys. but really, i'm going to spread my wings and meet more people..shed the cloak of shyness! haha. it's fun most of all when you bond with someone who's nice and you share the same interests with: you know there's always someone there whom you can learn from and exchange ideas with. and you'll never know when that connection may be useful in the future. but don't take me wrong..i'm not user-friendly!

9) get into shape and exercise more
- i'm one lethargic ball of skin! and since i'm not getting any younger, i know it will be beneficial for me in the future if i invest on my health now. eat right. move more. less sugar. more of the healthy stuff. maybe get into the activities that i'm interested in learning (basketball, capoiera, pilates, zips..striptease?!?! hahaha)..and pursue tennis with carlo..even if it's so frustrating for me, hahaha. and i'm inspired now after seeing pix of my friend..she's so hot! :-)

10) work on THE goal
- i think that this entry is what's closest to my heart because it involves passion and hardwork. i say this every year but i feel that this year is THE year. what it is will probably unfold in my blog entries in the coming months. i don't want to say anything first so as not to jinx it (and so that it'd be a surprise!). i'll detail the experience as i progress. hopefully, i do progress :-)

2007-02-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

BOO I SEE YOU!

i think i'm being watched. hello to you. go ahead and indulge :-)

AM I TOO LATE?

2007-02-01T01:11:00.000+08:00

i was supposed to post something last sunday so at least i'd have one post in my blog for the month of january but i couldn't migrate onto the new blogger! so now i'm cramming. as usual.

hmm..made me stop and think for a split-second if all i've ever done in my life is to cram, including working on the things that should matter in life.

again, am i too late?

i'd like to think no one is ever too late for anything. better late then never as they'd say. no one is ever too old. well, unless it is biologically impossible to do certain things.

i'm babbling! all i really wanted was an entry for january, hehe. still not yet in my writing mood..to think i've been pretty pensive for the past weeks! so many decisions to make, so many things to be excited about and so many things to take action for. i am actually very excited (and very positive as well) about the year ahead. i see it as a year to REALLY take action..to follow THE dream..to discover talent (or lack thereof)..to take the plunge..to seize the day..to be happy and truly enjoy life. i know, i said the same thing last year but nothing close to what i would like to achieve was actually accomplished by the end of 2006. well, some things really don't go as planned and something unexpected did take place during the early part of last year (hehehe!) and i worked on that for the rest of the year :-) as my friend joey said, nurturing relationships with people is important. It is not a waste of time and actually takes precedence over everything else.

in all honesty, i can say i'm happy now. so many things have happened in the past month. life-changing decisions had to be made and thought over. it started very badly but now i can say that things are calm and at peace. for how long it will be this way, i don't really know but i hope this time it would be real, this time it would last. i hope i won't be wrong but i have a strong feeling that it will :-)

and can i just say..BEWARE OF MEAN PEOPLE. actually, just BEWARE OF MEAN GIRLS. they are the worst kind of mean people out there.

more details in my future posts about all the thoughts i just babbled and the stories i somehow shared. and btw, to answer my question, YES I AM. oh well :-P

i'm back hunchback!

2006-11-12T14:25:00.000+08:00

OMG..it's been about three whole months since my last entry. sorry about that folks! very busy annoying and boring work load + no internet at home since pc is broken + emotional rollercoaster ride = no time and not in the right mind for posting entries.

but it's all good now. pretty steady. in fact, looking forward to the coming days (well, sort of). and for the first time in a very loooong time, i'm recharged to work. as in full-force in all things i want to bury myself into.

i just realized though that time flies so fast..it's december already next month! not only does it mean that Christmas is coming soon but it also means that 2006 is ending soon! i can't believe it's been a year since i started this blog and that pretty much ten months have gone by. it's also been six months since my birthday! so this would mean i only have six more months left before i turn 27! huwaw. and i feel i haven't done all of the things i said i'd do this year. or at least when i turn 26.

again, i am pressuring myself! why oh why pichapie. i actually feel compelled to accomplish something before the year ends. hahaha. and i will, oh yes i will!

a bunch of realizations came over me the past couple of weeks regarding what i really want to happen with my life. it's good to have somewhat a sense of direction although i don't really know for sure how i am going to accomplish these things. i am trying though! i've been researching and figuring out ways to make them happen. in time, my friends, in time. as my good friend denver would say, "in time, we will find our place in the sun."

on a lighter note, i just have to say..I WANT A MACBOOK. i'm thinking of getting the 60G, 2.0Ghz model.

I ALSO WANT A LOMO LCA +

i've always wanted these (since last year!) and i think i will now indulge :-)

**thanks to LSI and apple sites for the pix

2006-08-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

i'm really happy and giddy..KILIG!!! :-)

shiver by coldplay

2006-07-29T01:43:00.000+08:00

i hardly paid attention to this song when i'd hear it before. re-discovered it and i find it so cute! the type that makes you go awwww :-P

so i look in your direction
but you pay me no attention, do you.
i know you don't listen to me
cause you say you see straight through me, don't you.

on and on from the moment i wake,
to the moment i sleep,
i'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me.
i'll be waiting in line,
just to see if you care.

did you want me to change?
well i change for good.
and i want you to know
that you'll always get your way.
i wanted to say..

don't you shiver?
shiver, shiver

i'll always be waiting for you
so you know how much i need ya
but you never even see me, do you?

and this is my final chance of getting you.

on and on from the moment i wake,
to the moment i sleep,
i'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me.
i'll be waiting in line,
just to see if you care.

did you want me to change?
well i change for good.
and i want you to know
that you'll always get your way.
i wanted to say..

don't you shiver?
shiver, shiver

sing it loud and clear.
i'll always be waiting for you.
yeah i'll always be waiting for you.

and it's you i see, but you don't see me.
and it's you I hear, so loud and clear.
i sing it loud and clear.
and i'll always be waiting for you..

so i look in your direction
but you pay me no attention
and you know how much I need you
but you never even seen me.

wake-up call

2006-07-21T00:27:00.000+08:00

i just realized, the first month of the second half of the year (third quarter) is about to end (haha, that was long) and, i asked myself, have i met my goals for 2006? well, i have about five more months to plan and to execute them! so starting next week, i think i will get myself back on track -- live each day productively. the past couple of months were a time for me to nurture relationships with people so they were full of gimiks, hanging out etc. well, no more banjing days and nights this time! except weekends of course :) don't get me wrong, i don't consider the past couple of months as time wasted. they were days of happiness and dramaramas. i saw it as a time of maturity and personal growth. i really learned a lot about myself -- weaknesses, strengths and limits.

so here are the things i should work on starting next week:

- learn nihongo
- work on my school project (i'm down to the last one!)
- pool the personal things that i plan to sell
- finish a book
- learn something new each day (i will set up a sked for this. some of the things i wana check out: howstuffworks, investment sites, philippine constitution, accounting, operations research)
- plan how to join bazaars this christmas season
- study photography (B/W at UP next sem!!!)
- go to the gym

i'll check up on myself in a month :)

aja!

2006-07-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

Lookie what my hunny gave me...

sweet noh? hehe...thanks buttercup! bwahaha..can't wait to finish it! i now have something to do when i don't get to see you :-P

jaded and frustrated (naks, rhyming!)

2006-07-15T02:20:00.000+08:00

i am jaded already by everything that's been happening in the past week. i didn't really mean to but i guess i just got tired. my heart can only hold so much.

so..whatever floats your boat!

i am also frustrated. my mom got robbed today :( she was about to unlock the door when a biker dude whizzed by and snatched her bag! she lost her phone, paycheck, watch and other valuable stuff (sss card etc). it's so frustrating coz why her?!?! she's not rich. we're not rich :(

oh well, what you do unto thee comes back to you in 3's.

and this happens after i indulge in retail therapy..the guilt! i am just so in the mood to buy and splurge. good thing i got to stop myself from buying cds last sunday or else it would have been too much. i saw snow patrol, hard-fi and..*drum roll*..death cab's plans!!!! my goolai, i've been asking for that since last year! but then i did end up buying a slightly expensive topshop top (it was just too cute to pass) and jeans (at least it was half the price!). i also got talked into buying two necklaces!! i'm such a sucker when sweet salespeople start talking to me..most of all if it's the owner! argh. but then the necklaces are really nice. it just wasn't my intention to buy a necklace, let alone two.

oh well. with all my splurges (with food pa ha), i guess i would have to start selling my stuff! coz i'm poor. i got no money for my honey. bwahaha. i'll take pix soon and probably set-up another blog for the stuff i'll be selling. then maybe..i can start creating stuff too to sell (light bulb flashing)! haha. well, if i do find the time. yes, i think i will find the time.

btw, i saw someone today whom i haven't seen in months. he really kinda reminds me of chris martin.

have you ever felt as if you were ganged up on?

2006-07-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

wait, maybe that's too harsh. more of there's no one on your side? no one's there for you?

that's what i am feeling right now. well, what i felt. it's a weird feeling, probably misunderstood for something else. but it really is just that -- the feeling that you are all alone.

what's worse is that i felt this from people whom i thought were my friends.

that's the problem with me -- i trust people too much. i have so much faith on the goodness in them. in the same respect, i only show goodness too. as i've said countless times, i have no schemes nor twisted plans in my head. what you see is what you get. but then there really are people out there who won't believe you, no matter how sincere you are. and i think now, i understand why: because of all the schemers and evil planners that exist out there. we really have to be on our toes for people like this. don't let your guard down! paranoia on some level, but then maybe it's for the best. with new or recent acquaintances, only say or do things that will not leave you open to judgment. then maybe they will stop backstabbing you, hehe.

oh well patching, stop being an idealistic kid. there are only a few out there who will take you for who you are. these are the people whom you should love and treasure and consider as true friends.

welcome to the real world.

pulp fiction for you

2006-07-11T00:17:00.001+08:00

such a pretty picture of tisha, one of my besties. taken by yours truly using marcy's nikon D50 (good thing i have friends who have DSLRs! hahaha).

sentimentalness

2006-07-07T01:13:00.000+08:00

i've been pretty sentimental the past couple of days, what with all the things going on in my life right now. i can't help but look back at all the years, months, weeks and days that have passed and just wonder which among those memories brought me to where i am at this very point in my life. while looking back, i can't help but think of what's in store for me in the future -- in the next couple of days, weeks, months and years even. quite scary actually as i am already at that age where each decision could inadvertently change my path in life. but then again, i shouldn't scare myself. i should just go on and enjoy life and not let every little thing bog me down: life's too short to waste on worrying! instead, i should just be wary of the endless possibilities life has to offer me -- which i shouldn't be afraid of once the opportunity comes knocking!

howl's moving castle

2006-07-04T01:14:00.000+08:00

i borrowed the dvd from my officemate about a week ago (thanks noy!) and i'm thankful that i did..and that he remembered! it is far by my most favorite miyazaki movie among all that i've seen. it's too interesting to pass up that even my mom got interested in watching the movie (if she didn't have to do things i'm sure she would have watched with me). the story made me smile and giddy, the humor made me laugh (i've never laughed as much in a movie not deemed as comedy) and the characters are just keeeyuuut!!!! KAWAII!!! i love mr. turnip -- so cute hoppity hop hopping around; calcifer -- the look on his face the first time he appeared was just really funny, i don't know why; heen -- the part when he couldn't get up the stairs of the king's castle was just downright hilarious; and markl -- soooo keeeeeyuuuuut..i love the part where it was shown first time how he'd "disguise" himself..hahaha!

anyway, if you guys have time (and you do find a copy), do check out howl's moving castle. it is worth watching and will surely take your worries away even if for a moment -- it did take mine! check out miyazaki's other movies too: spirited away is just as magical, imaginative (bordering on silly but still superb for me i believe!) although the story did not move me as much. princess mononoke and nausicaa are a tad bit serious for me but i'd still say they are worth watching. if you are into movies with great, imaginative storylines crafted artistically, then you should check them out. looking forward to seeing more miyazaki and studio ghibli masterpieces!

2006-06-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

got this forward from my good special friend diane (hehehe)..quite funny! makes sense actually (somewhat) although we all know that it's a defensive answer to all the pain and hurt brought by losing someone you love..

para sa may mga EX at naging EX

before, hinahabol kita pero di mo ako pinapansin.
tapos isang araw nawala ako, hinanap mo ako at tinanong,
"bakit ka nagsawa?" ngumiti ako,
"hindi ako nagsawa. natauhan lang."

pwede mo kong lokohin pero wag kang magpapahuli sakin. --> no way!!
pwede mo kong palitan pero siguraduhin mong mas mahal mo siya sakin.
pwede mo kong iwan pero siguraduhin mong kaya mo.
kasi pag ako sobrang nasaktan, wala ka nang babalikan.

boys? pag trip ka, magpapakilala.
kaibigan kuno hanggang pumorma na.
tapos pag nahulog ka na, ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na sila.
pero dapat walang iiyak at smile lang tayo.
punyeta, anong silbi ng karma?

i fell in love and got hurt but I didn't shed too much tears
nor did i ask him to love me again.
instead, i stood up proudly and said,
"ganyan talaga ang magaganda! hindi bagay sa tanga!"

simple lang para hindi ka masaktan.
kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din.
Kapag ginago ka, gaguhin mo rin. --> wag naman..wag gantihan..
pero kapag umiyak ka, tanga ka!
ginago ka na nga, iiyakan mo pa?

pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo, wag mo siyang sisihin!
kausapin mo siya ng harap-harapan at sabihin mong,
"ingat, tanga ka pa naman!" --> bwahahahaha!

masakit pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo.
pero wag kang magagalit ng husto.
kahit papano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, diba?
kaya for the last time yakapin mo siya at ibulong mo,
"gago, kukulamin kita!"

girls, talo daw tayo sa mga boys? papayag kayo?
sige, pag niligawan tayo, sagot agad. pag iniwan tayo? ok lang.
kapag sinabi nilang, "uy, ex ko." alam niyo sagot diyan? "ay, ambisyoso." --> 'nuff said

if the one you love doesn't love you back, don't get depressed.
just think about it for a while, maybe cry a bit then wipe your tears and say,
"ang weird naman niya. di siya pumapatol sa magaganda!"
you only got one life so live it well,
one heart so take good care,
one soul so keep it pure.
one boyfriend? what a waste! make it two or more!

sayang ganda natin!
pag sinabi sayo ng mahal mo na ayaw na niya sayo, hayaan mo lang.
wag kang iiyak at magpapakagago!
imbis na iyakan mo siya, ngitian mo lang at sabihin mo ang ganito,
"so, pano? bye na! naghihintay na ang kapalit mo!"

who cares about break-ups? oo nga, masakit.
makirot sa puso. pero tandaan mo:
a break-up isn't only an end to a relationship.
it's also a beginning of a new one and an end to a living hell called "ex"

KAYA SMILE, BEAUTIFUL TAYONG LAHAT! :)

2006-06-18T04:00:00.000+08:00

remember when i asked you who among your friends you most confide with and remember your answer? just want to let you know that i am all that. it may not have been apparent at first but you do have to understand that my whole physical, mental and emotional being was not yet ready at that time. now, i think it is and that it has fully adjusted to include you into my system :-P

i will not judge you nor betray you. i will not blab the innermost secrets and the sensitive things that you share with me: no soul will ever hear them. they are not my secrets to share in the first place! if ever i do tell anyone anything about you, they are things that involve me -- my opinions and my feelings. then again, i would really rather not have to resort sharing such things to other people. i'd rather share them with you and see what you think about them (so i guess i won't anymore..i will try not to!).

i will be your sounding board when you need someone to listen to about anything going on with your life. like what i've said before, i will always be by your side..my loyalty will always be with you.

i could be a bestfriend. in fact, i would really love to be the bestfriend also. let me be and i promise, i will not let you down. i'm one of the most loyal and sincere people you'll ever meet! :-)

trust me.

i love the weather!

2006-06-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

although i love summer, the beach and the makes-it-possible-to-go-on-vacation weather during that time of the year, i really am more of the rainy/winter type of girl. i am a self-confessed jacket person (i buy them even if it's summer) so this season makes it possible for me to wear my thick ones without breaking a sweat, literally. i also love the cozy feeling..the thought of going under the covers while watching tv and pigging out on comfort food (my choice is a cup of hot tabletas!). i love getting stuck in traffic while it's raining -- as long as you're with someone you love to be with. i find it really cozy when it's cold and you're in the confines of a vehicle (masikip kasi kaya cozy? hehe). i also want to go under the rain! i just realized i've never done so -- maybe i have, i just don't remember -- so i'd like to go under the rain..the type that i would remember this time (with someone special of course..how shwet!! i remember the close-up commercial tuloy..kinikilig kasi ako dun :-P). best of all, it doesn't make me feel lazy nor does it make me irritable. the heat does these to me. i hate being lazy and unproductive and i also hate being irritable! why waste a day in your life being irate when you can just forget your worries and all your hang-ups and simply enjoy your life as how it currently is? o divah. cold is good. just not too cold -- lamigin naman kasi ako..ano ba yan!

of course!

2006-06-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

2006-06-13T02:40:00.000+08:00

i am living each day with frustrations in my head. i live each day carrying a heart with a big, empty hole in it where true, unadulterated happiness once was. i am a happy camper. well, i used to be. now, i am just one wretched being - paranoid, frustrated and all.

why are these things happening to me? why am i feeling this way? i really don't know what i got myself into. is it all worth it? i hope it is. because i am giving my all already. i really really am. i've actually lost focus on the things that i should be doing, the things i planned for myself. what's surprising though is that i don't really care when by this time i'd be worrying myself silly why certain things were not accomplished. it doesn't matter much anymore to me that i'm out of tangent and out of focus.

i want it to stop because it hurts so much. it hurts my head and it hurts my heart. the thought of what could have been always replaying in my head, the thought of all these evil elements coming into play..they all torment me every day. will they ever stop? is there really any reason for me to believe that these things are out there to cause me pain? or are they all just in my head? am i just imaginging these things? or are events purposedly happening because other people are just so g*ddamn insensitive and bastos?

i can't live each day like this. i really want it to stop already. all i need is assurance that i have nothing to worry about, that these evil elements will not be encouraged and cultivated. stop tormenting me please. i have no evil plans, no schemes. i'm just a simple girl who wants to be happy, to continue to dream and to someday live out this dream. more importantly, i am a happy camper who just wants to be loved as if there were no tomorrow. because it could really happen..that the next day..i'd be gone..

V for Voo!

2006-06-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

back from a long hiatus, so many things have happened since my last post so let me just enumerate them:

- i turned 26! details to come in a separate entry :)

- i had my hair straightened again. partly a wise decision but soo soo expensive.

- i had a kerastase treatment the week after coz the ends of my hair dried up :(. again..soooo expensive. the treatment itselt isn't but the girl who analyzed my hair (i saw close-up pix of my scalp and hair shaft..asteeg) suggested two treatments. again, the price still wasn't that bad considering the service and quality of the products. the products i bought after my treatments were what made the whole experience really pricey. oh well. i'll just close my eyes when i pay for my credit card bill next month (gulp).

- i started with my japanese lessons already. the book i'm using looks promising and easy to understand. i just haven't uploaded the audio files into my ipod. will do so soon so i can proceed without stops anymore! i plan to finish one lesson a day (which reminds me, i have to buy the advanced set already! gastos na naman :-s)

- i am almost done with my 4th project!! i just finished sewing the belt an hour ago -- i now need to have it buckled. i also connected the top with the skirt already but some sections were sewn incorrectly (nakain yung tela, stupid me stupid me since i knew that could happen) so i have to repeat those sections. then i need to put the zipper and garter. this means i can start the 5th project this saturday already..which means i will be starting the last project for the basic level!!! awwwww..senti senti..the problem with moving on are the things you leave behind. but if you don't move on, you're never gona grow..*sigh* (hehe, nagpaka-serious na naman!)

- i've been tinkering with carlo's dslr lately that it's inspired me to take my slr film more seriously. i'm contemplating on taking lessons that i saw here -- http://www.photoworldmanila.com/0_wksp_bsc_what.html -- but then my current financial status, coupled with the fact that carlo can actually teach me the basics, is discouaring me from enrolling. although P2850 for four sundays -- inclusive of film and processing, full-color composition handbook, handouts and free admission to Fort Santiago on seminar days -- isn't that bad. and i have a big feeling that carlo will get impatient with me! hahaha :-P so..esep-esep. while i contemplate, let me leave you with a pic i took in eastwood last monday:

what do you think? :)

2006-05-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

i'm sick!!!

i wish i wouldn't be by saturday... *sigh*

anyway, i finally found a vest pattern..my mom had one all along! but i still decided to go on with the pattern that i invented since i was able to sew parts of it already. i really love thinking of projects to work on and the vest is one of the projects i am currently preoccupied with since i've always wanted one (the ones i see out are pretty expensive for such a small item) and i want to try creating one for myself. i can't believe it's really easy to make! hope it comes out great though, hehe..and hope i finish it by saturday! (asa pa ko eh i'm always out :-P)

and let the birthday count down begin!

2006-05-08T01:40:00.000+08:00

i know it may seem silly to some, but i really love birthdays -- most of all my own -- and it will be a week until mine..yikes! the yikes feeling is not really coz i'll be turning a year older but more because i haven't prepared for it..ha ha! i really love having birthday weeks and spending each day in a special way, ending with my birthday (which of course will be the most special day of all)!! but then there, don't really have anything special prepared for this week that's why i'm slightly sad and annoyed. oh well, we'll see. sorry for being silly. i'm really just like that, a silly goose.

summertime by the sundays

2006-04-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

pretty old already but definitely my summer song for 2006!

do some people wind up with the one that they adore
in a heart-shaped hotel room it's what a heart is for
the bubble floats so madly will it stay sky-high?
hello partner, kiss your name bye-bye

ooh sometimes...

romantic piscean seeks angel in disguise
chinese-speaking girlfriend big brown eyes
liverpudlian lady, sophisticated male
hello partner, tell me love can't fail

and it's you and me in the summertime
we'll be hand in hand down in the park
with a squeeze and a sigh and that twinkle in your eye
and all the sunshine banishes the dark

do some people wind up with the one that they abhor
in a distant hell-hole room, the third world war
but all i see is films where colourless despair
meant angry young men with immaculate hair

ooh sometimes...

get up a voice inside says there's no time for looking down
only a pound a word and you're talking to the town
but how do you coin the phrase though that will set your soul apart
just to touch a lonely heart

and it's you and me in the summertime
we'll be hand and hand down in the park
with a squeeze and a sigh and that twinkle in your eye
and all the sunshine banishes the dark
and it's you i need in the summertime
as i turn my white skin red
two peas from the same pod yes we are
or have I read too much fiction?
is this how it happens?
how does it happen?
is this how it happens?
now, right now

2006-04-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel i don't know what i'm doing anymore..that i'm just going with the flow and taking in whatever life brings me. and before i know it, a week..a month..and a year has passed. and i got older..yet am i anywhere?

it's summertime

2006-04-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

it is sooooooo hot..it's really summer already!!! i am just lucky that for the most part of the day, i am cooped up in my very very very cold (as in brrrrrr) cube over at gateway. it actually gets too cold sometimes that we complain already. really.

i felt how hot it really was when i had dinner with daddy berta and momma mows today at fuzion in greenbelt (note: i liked my order - cajun chicken with brown rice). we stayed outside and it was really really hot! as in i'm not one who normally complains that it's hot but during dinner, i kept on saying that it was. anyway, i missed them sooooo much! i used to be with this couple practically every weekend, may it be rakenrolling in saguijo or road-slash-food tripping around UP. it was nice chatting up with them, hearing daddy's occasional sermons (think girl, think!) and mommy's infectious laughter. i really really missed them a lot. hope i get to see them more often.

i also miss joeyboey..my boracay partner!!! i got to chat with her this afternoon and i just found out that she's going to boracay on Labor Day weekend with les and her brothers..senti!!! boracay moments with her were the best..7 days of just lounging around..lamon..sunbathing..shopping..lamon again..bonding..pigging out on REAL COFFEE food!!! aawwww..i miss my usual cold chocolate and french toast - i had that every morning last year (calamansi cupcake here is yummy. also the pesto omelette). awwww...NAKAKA-MISS!!! we also pigged out on pizza at aria. as in 3 big slices each. ha ha ha. sarap lumamon.

it was also great that we were there on a full-moon weekend. the tide was low and the moonlight was strong that it was really nice walking at night along the beach since it was clear and well-lit. it was really nice. pretty cozy and nostalgic. she's actually inviting me to go with her but i don't know if i can. i'd really love to go with her again..i really had so much fun with her last year. love you joey!

i am actually on vacation mode already, what with the 4-day weekend!! i don't know what i'll be doing though. i don't mind staying at home, probably sewing or watching dvds..except that it's going to be hot for sure!!!! to think sarado malls. argh. tagaytay na lang siguro..or baguio!

gosh, looking forward to all the trips that i may take this summer (and the rest of the year dapat!)..hope i really get to do so. ubos nga lang pera..but i'm sure it will all be worth it! basta okay kasama mo, if you know what i mean *wink wink*

WANDERLUST-ING!!!

greetings from the office!

2006-03-21T20:10:00.000+08:00

so i think i now know the days when i can surf in the office -- tues and wed. on these days, i can access sites like blogspot, radioblog and the like which are normally blocked by websense (boo!).

i have nothing to share actually. i'm too tired, only had four hours of sleep last night! slept at 6am, woke up four hours after..and got to the office at 11! haha! boss na boss (kidding). but i was actually up working on a document that was long overdue. really wanted to get it out of my plate already thus the relentlessness to finish it.

since i hardly get to access my blog through this pc, let me just share some pix that i have stored here (warning, picture overload!):

with daddy berta, mommy moweenette and singit bambini

with my gorgeous HS friends jenny o., claudibur and marie at marie's bday bash in bamboo lounge at fort

with cousin chichot, caryn, marnie and crisos

SLR pic of me with a friend's digicam. i like the candidness of this shot and the out of focus effect. sayang at wala na ata ang digicam na yun :(

with my basketball team last year..BRATZ!

at ira's wedding..i miss you ira!!! she's going to be a mommy soon. i'm so excited for her :)

boracay with joey!!! i'm gona miss you this year hun :(

btw, for some odd reason, i was hooked on "bizarre love triangle" today. i really really love that song, my all-time fave new wave song (second to it would probably be "on paper"). i kept listening to all versions of it since i had access to radioblog (except frente's - i really dislike that)! hmm..bakit kaya? any relation to real-life events? har har har :)

oo by up dharma down

2006-03-18T02:28:00.000+08:00

i am currently loving this song

di mo lang alam, naisip kita
baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
di mo lang alam, hanggang sa gabi
inaasam makita kang muli
nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang
panahon at ngayon ako'y iyong iniwang
luhaang sugatan't di-mapakinabangan
sana nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
sana'y nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
ako'y iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon
ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon, para sa yo
lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
kung ako'y nagkasala, patawad na sana
ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal
di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
puro siya na lang sana'y ako naman
di mo lang alam ika'y minamasdan
sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
di mo lang alam, kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan
baka sakali lang, maisip mo namang
ako'y nandito lang, hindi mo lang alam
matalino ka naman
kung ikaw, at ako ay tunay na bigo
sa laro na ito, ay dapat bang sumuko
sana'y di ka na lang pala aking nakilala
kung alam ko lang ako'y yong masasaktan ng ganito
sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko
di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
puro siya na lang o, sana'y ako naman
di mo lang alam ikay' minamasdan
sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
malas mo..ikaw ang natipuhan ko
di mo lang alam, ako'y yong nasaktan

2006-03-13T02:40:00.000+08:00

i hate guys who are insincere. i swear. kaya siguro ako takot at traumatized dahil dami ko ng kilala na ganun.

momon's bachelor pad

2006-03-12T03:18:00.001+08:00

just got back from poker night at momon's..fun fun fun!

first, we played two rounds of poker. both rounds, carlo and i were the last two left playing. first round, he beat me (i don't remember how). second round - HA! - i beat him! he had some card and an ace, i had a jack and a queen. nag-all-in siya then i matched what he bet. during the flop, there was an ace. for the turn, a king came out. so i could only win if a ten came out for the river - AND IT DID! HA!

too bad we were just playing for fun (boo!).

second, i got to sang my heart out since i was able to hog the mic. ayaw nila kumanta eh, so ako na lang. okay lang naman, my voice ain't that bad! hahaha.

third, i am now a certified kameratista! momon got to make the flash of my SLR (NOT digital) to work..yahoo!! now i can use it at night! he also taught me how to use it -- apperture, shutterspeed..da works. asteeeg. ngayon, di na lang siya accessory around my neck..i actually now know how to use it properly (i'd just play around with it prior to my lessons with momon). my goal is to be able to beautifully take portraits of people and to completely capture the different moods and emotions conveyed in their faces, just like julia roberts' character in the movie closer.

fourth, momon recorded me singing! COOL SOBRA..i felt like a recording artist :) he had the equipment and all -- headsets, a mic and an ibook! really really cool, it was nice to hear how my singing voice sounds recorded. again, my voice ain't that bad! hehehe.

it was a really fun night. at first, i was thinking of backing out already since i was really tired. i just wanted to go home and rest. aside from that, i suddenly wasn't in the mood for poker anymore and was in the mood to do other things (work on my project, watch tv, read a book or go out with friends). but i'm glad i went despite my lack of sleep because i wouldn't have "accomplished" all of the above had i decided to " ditch" poker night (hehe, sorry!). i was even able to drag claud (we were together coz of merienda get-together with lorie, rizza and mike) to come with me and she got to meet my basketball friends. hope she didn't get bored though.. *wink wink*.

anyway, watch out for our amici experience in my food blog..still under construction!

the magic numbers!!!!

2006-03-03T01:08:00.000+08:00

where can i find their cd locally?? please give me one..please??? huhuhuhuhu..

what a disappointment

2006-03-01T02:13:00.000+08:00

sorry butching, but i swear that it said in the flyer updharma was playing.

we went to the kapatid album launch at MDC but wasn't able to watch updharma play (duno if they played already or they weren't really gona play at all). it was fun and exciting! harhar.

saw this guy whom i am sort of crushing on but he didn't really notice me. oh well. at least i saw him in person.

my friend also saw this girl he was crushing on (and a bunch of other girls) so i guess it was worth it even if updharma didn't play. ha ha ha.

gosh, i'm a bit nauseous right now. bad triph! sana di matuloy.

fudge, may amats ako. later my friends :)

two solid great nights in a row - saturday edition

2006-02-26T10:26:00.000+08:00

whew! just got back from saburday gimik..imagine, it's already 9am!!

i was actually home the whole day of saturday. i wanted to finish my sewing project but i couldn't because it was soo hot! ang hirap gumalaw at super sakit pa ulo ko. mukhang summer na summer na talaga. so wala talaga akong nagawa kahapon :(

since it was soo hot, i was really eager to leave the house already and go to a mall. but i was too lazy to move (this is what the heat does to me) that it took me forever to prepare to go out. so i ended up going out at around 7pm already, when it wasn't that hot anymore (defeats the purpose eh?).

i went to shangri-la because butch and timmy planned on going there to watch kitchie for the jap fest. but for some weird reason, biglang hindi na sila tumuloy. boo. good thing diane and her gang planned on going to shangri-la too coz they wanted to watch barbie naman. and this was when the fun began..

diane came with diana and her other friends (rex, kuting, suy and carlo). there was an event at shang streetscape coz of the jap fest and several acts played: barbie almalbis, kitchie nadal, core of soul (?) -- a jap band -- and hale (i just realized that hale was the main act when it should've been core! grabe lang). after hale played, all the performers got together and sang "all you need is love". super funny coz it seems they performed it without practice! they weren't sure when to come in. in fact at some part, champ of hale wasn't able to sing his section of the song. funny cute!

after that, we went to pier one at fort (minus kuting and plus diane suyat and dic -- tama ba spelling ng names nila, haha). by this time it was already around 130am. we stayed there until 430am i think. we did the usual beer-kain-beer-kain again..as in lamon talaga! karen and chris met up with us (at sumama sa paglamon!) and as well as jayson.

as if everything we ate wasn't enough, someone asked if anyone wanted to have dessert and someone suggested having bibingka at jt's (near elorde at ortigas). shempre, being the takaw and bibingka fan that i am, i quickly said yes to the invite! at masarap siya ha! bitin nga lang kasi ang liit!! well, at least i wouldn't be forced to eat a lot coz had it been a big serving, i'd probably force myself to finish it!

by the time the lamonfest ended, it was already 530am! we got into carlo's magic school bus and on our way to suy's house in caloocan, they suddenly had this great idea of staying over at carlo's, having shisha (?) and going to mass in the morning. grabe, walang tulugan!!! well, i didn't mind naman. as long as i'm safe and i'd be able to get home the next day (or hours after in this case), oks lang.

haha..sobra pang laf trip pa. we needed coal for the shisha..where do you get coal at 6am?!?! we tried a nearby convenient store, shempre they didn't have any. then carlo asked the local baranggay head and he couldn't tell us where there was coal -- i guess he was still groogy..brains hardly function that early..or maybe he didn't know why the heck these kids are looking for coal at that time of the day! haha! so we ended up getting coal scraps from the ihaw-ihaw stands we found along the street..mga pulubi!! haha. nakakahiya!! coal thieves! hahahah..i should have taken diana's pic as she was getting the coal..laf trip talaga!!

tapos ang pinakanakakatawa pa diyan, pagkatapos ng lahat ng paghihirap makakuha ng uling, hindi pa rin kami nakapag-shisha! hahahaha. siguro sobrang ngarag lang kami dahil wala pang tulog kaya di siya napagana (may mga kulang kasi na "parts"). actually, ako lang ata yung ngarag..lahat sila gising na gising pa..pero di pa rin nila napagana, haha. nag-videoke lang ako, papikit-pikit..hihiga..tapos pag may marinig na okay na song, kakanta bigla!

at around 830am, we got up, ready to go to mass at ctk biglang diana had to be home na pala. she was thinking of going to mass with her family instead so we all headed home..este..carlo brought us home pala -- thanks carlo whom i just met that day! hahaha.

so that pretty much ended our exciting weekend gimik (sat-sun kasi eh, haha). feeling ko kung walang nagyayang umuwi and people didn't have to go home (i had family get-together kasi in which i was ngarag btw), di pa rin kami uuwi. haha..exciting adventure! at ang dami kong nakakasama talaga through diane..bonding moments! hahaha.

anyway, abangan ang friday endition! :)

going for the dream

2006-02-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

last saturday, i watched close to you at glorietta 1 with daddy tuts and mommy mowee. there was a part where it talked about choosing between the habit (john lloyd) or going for the dream (sam milby) and i just realized that i want to go for the dream in all aspects -- love, life and labor -- even if it means getting disappointed and not meeting expecations. i really will. and i'm gona make it happen this year. i promise *cross fingers*

i actually felt bad last week coz i realized that i didn't really do much of the things i listed a year before that i told myself i'd do for 2005. i tried to justify why i wasn't able to do them but bottomline is i still wasn't able to do them. and it got me sad. sayang ang oras at ang bilis ng panahon. di ko talaga alam bat nagkaganun. sayang talaga.

but enough of that, no point in clinging on to what could have been. i'm sure most of the reasons are valid. i will just push myself and think of making the most out of my days for 2006 and see what will come out of it for me.

okay, medyo may amats ako ngayon. sana matino sinusulat ko. har har har. labo kasi kaupsap ng aking kaibigan. hahahaha. i think he's nursing a broken heart kaya ganun. oh well. my take on that is whatever happens, it will be all right :) sure, it will hurt at first but in time, the pain will fade away. halllooo, why get stumped just coz of another person? why let someone have that power over you? jennifer connelly won over david bowie in the labyrinth because of the realization that he had no power over her and i think that's how you win love battles like such -- realizing and recognizing that no one has any power over you. ang dami-daming lalaki/babae diyan..asus!

but then again, isn't it that having power over someone (and having that someone power over you) is the foundation of a relationship? allowing someone to have that hold on you means that you truly love the person? because you are willing to give whatever that person wants -- "as you wish" kumbaga (think cary elwes in princess bride). better if mutual of course.

i guess the former is just a defense mechanism for scorned lovers. shempre kailangan coz it's a way to move on!

oh gosh, how annoyingly confusing. that's why i'm single! ha ha ha.

on a side note, butching got me the autograph of the lead singer of juana with me in plain sight. argh. how embarrassing.

2006 Prediction for Pu Pu Platter Patching

2006-02-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

here's something i got from the sunday mag of the philippine star last week. pretty interesting. and i just found out through the same article that i am actually a metal monkey, whatever that is! --

the monkey has the closest affinity to man and therefore inherits most of his intelligence. he is quick-witted, clever and innovative, and can solve intricate problems with ease. the monkey is innately warm, natural and spontaneous person. he exudes self-confidence and has an enviable joie de vivre.

--> oh, i know this already..yeehaw!

this is a year of change and opportunity in many aspects of your life. at work, there are good prospects for promotion or a career shift, but it is best to avoid acting in haste. be resourceful, cooperative and stay well informed of current events. when dealing with money matters, it is always good to be cautious this year. get professional advice before making new investments as it is not the year for financial risks.

--> "career shift"..this could probably be about that plan i have for the year! hahaha..but the "best to avoid acting in haste" part..i think it's a sign that i shouldn't resign first! hahaha. i really have been thinking of resigning because i've been getting bored at work..i want a fun job! something that will make me interact more with people, go out and travel more, see the sun and just bring out my creativity. but now, i was given new responsibilities and my goolai, i'm so busy! haha. no time for boredom anymore. i actually like the challenge of my new role but at the same time, i'm scared too. i hope i get to pull it off. there is no other way but up up up!

you will experience an active social life, but a word of caution: avoid being arrogant or trying to be the center of attention all the time. it is best to listen rather than talk this year. now is also a good time for new acquisitions at home. those who have partners will see their romance grow deeper this year, while unattached monkeys will find new love in a chance encounter.

--> find new love in a chance encounter?? chance encounter?? who could this be? for sure it's not someone i already know (yay!). hmmmmmm..well, i guess we have one whole year to find that out! sana si..ano..wekekekeke

btw, happy birthday!! i wish i could have greeted you personally. perhaps next year? *wink wink*

hermit mode on!

2006-02-06T19:59:00.000+08:00

what is this i'm feeling? i just can't explain..

hahaha!

yes, i'm feeling something..

i am feeling wretched. i wana scream really loud and cry really hard. i haven't done that in a very long time and i feel there are just tears in my eyes that wana pour out. i actually take advantage of laughing really hard because it's an opportunity for me to be able to bring them out. mukhang nga lang akong tanga pag ganun na ako! psycho patchi na!

can i just disappear? there are times i really just want to disappear and be on hermit mode.

haha, this entry is sooo unlike the previous one which was filled with so much hope and promise. gosh, mood swings. i'm being a typical girl :-P

new year, new blog, new me!

2006-01-28T13:38:00.000+08:00

hallo hallo hallo!

this entry is long overdue..it's almost the end of january! i've been really busy and to tell you honestly, i'm not really very good at composing essays in an instant! hehe. i usually want to try to make it sound like those smartass eloquent blogs i get to read but alas, i'm just not good enough. ngyak. but who cares. kebstermeister! i just wana be able to share my experiences, good or bad :)

i actually have an existing blog already but i feel that the posts there don't really reflect who i am anymore (naks). i feel i've grown so much in the past few months (another naks!). aside from this, i actually haven't updated it since july of last year! harharhar..my goolai. so i want to start fresh. thus the new bloggie.

so..why do i say "new me"? well..i don't really know..haha. i just get this feeling of a new promise everytime i think of the endless possibilities that can happen this year -- so unlike the "me" of before who's always anxious and fearful of a new year coming in. It would always mean turning a year older and evaluating if i've done anything productive or worthy the previous year (and always having a negative answer to the evaluation). i just have this new-found faith in myself and the things/people around me that this year will be a good one.

in january alone, so many things have happened! especially last week!!! my golly gee wow. but those experiences deserve another entry.

i've also been thinking about myself and my future more seriously lately -- like things i really wana do and accomplish (and actually planning on doing and accomplishing them!). i remember last year january, i made this page on my sketchpad of the things i wana do for 2005. i listed a lot. i haven't checked this year how many i can cross out from that list but i'm guessing just a handful! so sad. that's why i was somehow surprised that it's been a year since i made that list because i've only done a few. but no regrets! things will happen at the right time and place (just be sure you are doing something about it and not just relying on God or on luck for such things to happen). and i think i wouldn't be this determined to turn my life around (naks) if it weren't for my experiences in the past..right? one thing's for sure..i will always do what needs to be done! no more patching tamad!

so..welcome 2006!!! am i afraid of the new year? am i afraid of turning a year older considering i'm already old? mwahahaha. nah..i'm actually looking forward to it, embracing it with open arms and optimistic about what lies ahead. i'm sure this is going to be my year. i will make that happen :)