irreplaceable by beyonce

i am currently addicted to this song! i think it just makes me feel really good because of the memories it evokes -- john would keep on playing this song and daryl would sing the spanish version :-P awww..i miss class and my classmates!! oh, and the "to the left" part reminds me of real deal..miss ko na rin yun! :-D

to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
everything you own in the box to the left
in the closet, that's my stuff
yes, if i bought it, please don't touch

and keep talking that mess, that's fine
could you walk and talk at the same time?
and it's my name that's on that bag
so go move your bags, let me call you a cab

standing in the front yard, telling me
how i'm such a fool, talking 'bout
how i'll never ever find a man like you
you got me twisted

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i could have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable

so go ahead and get gone
call up that chick and see if she's home
oops i bet you thought that i didn't know
what did you think i was putting you out for?

because you was untrue
rolling her around in the car that i bought you
naby, drop them keys
hurry up, before your taxi leaves

standing in the front yard, telling me
how I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
how I'll never ever find a man like you
you got me twisted

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i could have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable

so since i'm not your everything
how about i'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
baby i won't shed a tear for you
i won't lose a wink of sleep
'cause the truth of the matter is
replacing you is so easy

to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
to the left, to the left
everything you own in the box to the left

to the left, to the left
don't you ever for a second get to thinking
you're irreplaceable

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

you must not know 'bout me
you must not know 'bout me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'

you must not know 'bout me (baby)
you must not know 'bout me
i could have another you in a minute
matter fact, he'll be here in a minute
you can pack all your bags we're finished
'cause you made your bed now lay in it
i could have another you by tomorrow
don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
you're irreplaceable

i'm scared :-( i feel so lost..it's so weird. there was a time when i was so excited about the uncertainty. but now, i am just so nervous..potentially paralyzed even. or maybe numb. like a robot just reacting to what's thrown at him or what he's faced with.

sometimes, i don't really know who i am anymore. have i lost the real me? or is the me right now the real me?

a friend is arranging something for mid-june. it somewhat scares me..and i think partly because it's something that could be good.. :-(

oh no..i may be getting in too deep. you have to start holding your horsies, baby..yes, not worth it!

counting down the days

i cannot believe it's may already!! it means it's been five months since the start of 2007. and it will be about two weeks until..you know what..

yikes..

i had this conversation with cjsn a while ago. i explained to him that the reason for this bewilderment is because i didn't realize five months had already passed me by! this poses the possibility of five more months passing me by without me feeling it too. probably because there wasn't any milestone achieved since the start of the year.

argh..birthday blues creeping in..

i thought i was over that already. the whole, oh-i-dread-my-birthday feeling. i must admit during my early twenties, i'd feel this every time i'd turn a year older. quarter-life crisis. but by the time i turned twenty-five (okay, that's a dead give-away that i'm at least twenty-five years old!), i gave up caring and worrying that i'm getting older and just resigned to the fact that each day, each minute and each second that passes by in my life is a day, a minute and a second of me getting older.

then a few days ago..this whole birthday thing got me thinking again about my life..some mild form of quarter-life crisis but now with a sense of hopefulness instead of helplessness. of excitement over what can possibly happen. because right now, there is that feeling of uncertainty. well yes, i guess everyone feels that. maybe i'm just comparing my life now to how it was, say, five years ago. at that time, i knew what was going to happen. well, pretty much. i thought i'd be married by twenty-four or twenty-five. then have kids before thirty. but with how things are right now, i don't even think i'd be married by thirty! hahaha.

oh, how i wish i could be more eloquent about this..

i am actually trying my very best not to pressure myself too much about this and accept that yes, it may really be just the influence of society that's why women think they should be married before they turn thirty. well, there's also that whole issue with the biological clock ticking. but then, why pressure and end up settling just because of that when you know you haven't found THE one yet right?

haha..my age is really showing because of what i'm writing about!! kadiri! birthday blues talaga.

but i really really am sincerely happy. i'm happy owning the chance of being able to do anything and everything that i want. it's a kind of freedom that allows me to grow and achieve the full potential of my being. and i am truly excited for that. i am truly excited for what i can and will be five years from now. for sure, it is something i didn't expect i would be.

life is good :-) will update my blog soon. i've just been soooo busy but i know i will have time tomorrow. hihihi.