have you ever felt as if you were ganged up on?

wait, maybe that's too harsh. more of there's no one on your side? no one's there for you?

that's what i am feeling right now. well, what i felt. it's a weird feeling, probably misunderstood for something else. but it really is just that -- the feeling that you are all alone.

what's worse is that i felt this from people whom i thought were my friends.

that's the problem with me -- i trust people too much. i have so much faith on the goodness in them. in the same respect, i only show goodness too. as i've said countless times, i have no schemes nor twisted plans in my head. what you see is what you get. but then there really are people out there who won't believe you, no matter how sincere you are. and i think now, i understand why: because of all the schemers and evil planners that exist out there. we really have to be on our toes for people like this. don't let your guard down! paranoia on some level, but then maybe it's for the best. with new or recent acquaintances, only say or do things that will not leave you open to judgment. then maybe they will stop backstabbing you, hehe.

oh well patching, stop being an idealistic kid. there are only a few out there who will take you for who you are. these are the people whom you should love and treasure and consider as true friends.

welcome to the real world.